It Just Couldn't Be
by Jasmine of the Forest
Summary: We all know that they're destined for one another, so why did Clark ditch Lois?


**Disclaimer: **Neither the show, Smallville, or its characters belong to me. I am just a fan who likes to write from time to time.

**Rating: **K+

**Summary: **We all know they're destined for one another, so why did Clark ditch Lois?

**A/N: ** I swear, I will eventually get around to working on _**As Good as it Gets**_. I have a really good plan for it – at least, _I_ think so. I've had this plan for a while, but the actual writing as such is not working for me. I will get the next chapter up as soon as I can write one I am happy with, I promise.

**Time: **End of 'Infamous.'

**IT JUST COULDN'T BE**

**Chapter 1: Pain**

Clark felt that odd feeling, that churning of the stomach, the tingling of the heart – a feeling he had not experienced since Lois had left. It was different to what he felt with Lana – that was indescribable. He couldn't say whether one felt nicer than the other, just that they felt different.

And so when Lois looked at him with that poorly masked uncertainty, that attempted concealment of vulnerability, he almost felt that he could go and meet her for the coffee. Almost.

Before he had a chance to make up his mind, she was gone. He barely heard her flippant reply of "Or whatever. I'm going to work."

Clark knew it would be easy – loving Lois, being with Lois. She didn't demand he reveal all his deepest darkest secrets so that she could 'trust' him. She simply accepted him for who he was, no questions asked. He also knew that she did in fact trust him, no matter how much she teased him about being weak.

But he also knew this was why he could not be in a relationship with her, at least not now. Her trust in him was misplaced, because he _did_ lie to her, and he kept a very prominent – even defining – part of himself secret from her.

And there was no way he would ever become involved with her when she didn't know who he was. And she _didn't_ know who he was.

She knew his character, his personality – probably those things better than anyone else. But she didn't know what he could do, what he was.

He knew Lois would accept him – he had witnessed that. Still clear in his mind, though, was the pain from when she backed away. He could still remember, when he had just told her the news, stepping closer to her. Just to be nearer her? To hug her? He could not be sure, it had been instinct. But as he took a step closer, and she simultaneously took a step back, the pain had been worse than he had been expecting. Much worse.

Still, after her initial shock, Lois had bounced right back to her old self, and he truly felt, in that moment, that everything would be alright. Lois accepting him would make everything alright, and the world would embrace him too.

He had been wrong. The world turned on him almost quicker than he could comprehend, and all those he loved were put in danger, hunted down by the federal police.

He would not put Lois through that again.

He knew that for sure. And there was something else he knew, too. When Lana had had to leave his life for the last time, his heart had been broken. Worse than it ever had been before. However, with each hour that had passed since Lois' return, he felt as though those pieces were beginning to belong more and more to his feisty friend.

But until his heart was whole again, he could do nothing.

It was this budding feeling – he scarce denied it to be the beginnings of love – that lead him to the shadows by the café, watching Lois as she anxiously looked around her whilst sipping a coffee.

He could go to Lois, start what would be the first real easy, natural relationship of his life. The idea was so tempting, he almost did.

But he remembered what had happened with Ollie. When Lois had found out his secret – as she eventually would with Clark too – she had been heartbroken. Because she had felt it her duty to give him up, so that the world could have him. And because she didn't want to be number two on his priority list.

She had said in the barn, in that alternate timeline that was beginning to feel so surreal to Clark, that this was different. But he knew it wouldn't be. Because Lois Lane was _good_.

She would always put the world before herself. And that would end in heart break for them both.

Before his resolve could break, Clark fished out his cell and typed a quick message to her.

_Sorry swamped with work, can't make it._

He knew it was a weak excuse – he couldn't come up with anything better to lessen the impact. To make it seem less like a heartless rejection. He knew it would hurt her. It hurt him, too. But it was for her sake. There may be a chance for them, somewhere down the track – when she knew his secret.

But the time for her to know was not this night.

He watched as she reached for her phone, read his message and hesitated before replying:

_Chasing a lead, couldn't make it anyway._

Clark started and looked up. No, anything but this. The lie – though he shouldn't know it was one – was classic wall-building Lane. Anything to save face, to hide what she was really feeling.

She was shutting him out.

He felt a momentary sense of panic – he couldn't bear to be back at square one with her. He liked how close they had become – relied on it, even. And this just proved how much he had hurt her.

He could not see her face, as her back was too him, but for a wild moment feared he had made her cry. Lois, by rule, did not cry. Those few times when she had, he had been the one she came to for comfort. She would not come to him now. Not this time. Not when he was the cause.

He longed to run to the café, tell her he was sorry, comfort her. But he couldn't, and he knew he couldn't.

For her.

And that is why he walked away.

**Okay, so I'm Australian. Sorry if some spelling/expressions are different to the American. I did remember to call it a cell phone though, so I'm proud of that  
:-D. Here in Australia, we call them mobile phones, or mobiles. **

**Anyways, I would greatly appreciate any reviews or criticisms you may have. I'm thinking this one will only be two chapters long, so I'm off to write the second one now. This story WILL get finished – famous last words.**

**Jasmine of the Forest**


End file.
